Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in shlube's LiveJournal:

Friday, March 18th, 2005
9:34 pm	This is not emo Adam, you bitch Has anyone ever had the privelege of seeing one of the finest fuckin films that is known as Death Wish?  It has Charles Bronson in it.  He's in the running for one of the most hardcore people I know.  Chuck, Danny Glover, you better fuckin watch out bitches.  I mean, can you imagine how many motherfucker's he's killed . . .in real life?  Everything he does is hardcore.  Even when he goes to a fuckin car dealership.  They ask him like, "How the fuck are you gonna pay for this, you Mexican bastard?"  He busts out with some motherfuckin benjamins and says, "Cash, bitch." and blows them away.  And I bet you he could beat the shit out of Danny Glover in Pillati's.  And yes, he already fucked the chick in Chuck Norris' workout machine infomercial.  He didn't even pull out.  When he was done, he just walked out naked and said, "That's how I roll, baby."  Then he killed three POW holding Vietnamese bastards and burnt down their damn restaurant.  He then stole 100 lbs. of crawfish and some sweet Budweiser.  After doing so, he came to my motherfuckin house and we ate them shits.  Damn, we had some fire maccaroni with them too.  He's living in my house now and I don't know when he's gonna leave.  We've been going out every night killin some creeps.  It's gettin kinda old and I think it's about time he goes back to his own place.  The cops came over to my house a few times and questioned me about the killing of the creeps and Charles just came out and they were like, "Oh, I understand" and left, knowing that this was one of the most hardcore motherfuckers that ever lived.  I respectfully asked him to leave my house and he just replied, "There's two things in this world that I care about: killing creeps and fixin jeeps."  I couldn't argue with him and I just said, "Nice."  and he quickly shoved 3 apples into his mouth at once.  At that point, I decided to leave.  Hopefully he'll be gone when I go back to the house.  Well, as long as he keeps on staying, he might as well make some of that fire ass meatloaf and hopefully he won't have any more hardcore fits and break my stereo.  Preciate it.  Sincerely and Sleazily, Shlube Current Music: that hardcore motherfucker George Thorogood (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 12th, 2005
10:27 am	CHUCK NORRIS' MOTHER FUCKIN BIRTHDAY Was anyone aware that chuck norris' birthday is today. Man I hope he gets some birthday pussy from that girl he does the informercial with. She probably would give it to him reeel hard.I wonder if Chuck would like a birthday present, like maybe some new grenades or .223 rounds so he can bust the shit out of some POW holding vietnamese bitches.Well anyways did anyone know that danny glover does Polattis workouts.Pretty kick ass eh. (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 19th, 2005
9:28 pm	So, do all of you like my recent glamour shot? I think there should be a religion that worships Chuck Norris because he's the karate master and the hardcore king. I mean, really, have you seen "Delta Force"? He has FUCKIN' rockets on his motorcycle. Some would say he looks like a primate, well swing on chimp because you got my respect. In conclusion, watch what kind of Vietnamese food you eat because those might be the same Vietnamese that were holding the POWs in Delta Force. If you got a problem with Chuck, you got a problem with me. Sincerely, Shlube PS. Preciate it. Current Music: soon to be North Mississippi Allstars (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 30th, 2004
11:07 pm	Today as I was talking to Lord Of The Pussy and he proclaimed that sometimes skinny chics got that bony pussy and it might jab your dick a little. So go for the healthy chics they will give it to you right(pussy that is). On another note all guys from destin are queers. I went to destin to do a flooring job recently and while waiting to do the job I saw many grown ass men with pink and pastel colored shirts. Then I saw a man eating a giant bite out of a choclate coated banana(A BIG ONE). It looked like he was suckin on a big black cock. Whatsup Destin fags you dont think your all queers BRING IT BITCHES. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
11:00 pm	pussy ***IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY ANYTHING PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS PIECE OF LITERATURE*** Today as I was staring at a fine piece of tile I heard a voice saying "here is to the split that never heals, the more you rub it the better it feels, nothing between heaven and hell can kill that codfish smell". I heard it once again, and once again and then I saw my 72 year old boss(let us call him LORD OF THE PUSSY)singing this fine tune and scratching his nuts. He then suggested that I stick my finger in a pussy and smell it.(Little does he know I keep a jar of pussy juice on me at all times.)He then told me there aint nothing worse than a rotten pussy. As a closing "A hard dick aint got no conscience". Current Mood: artistic Current Music: NCAA 2005 (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 15th, 2004
10:21 pm	kickin ass The other day I saw a chick with the biggest natural titties I have seen in my life and it got me to thinkin. How the hell do chicks handle em things, I mean with the milk leekage and all. I reckon if I was a chick and had big titties I would constantly fondle them and have lesbian orgies with all of my big tittied friends. (4 Comments |Comment on this)